did you get engaged???
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
