we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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