I think I died a long time ago.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's official drugs can't kill me
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
