Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
not ubering you a puppy
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
