lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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