He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
