What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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