Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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