so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
