If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
