During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
