Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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