So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
