so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
