i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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