I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
