I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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