Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
