my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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