Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
