do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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