He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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