you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
