Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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