Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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