I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
