he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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