the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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