textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
