Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
