I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
