I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
