Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
