I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
