Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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