Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
