i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
