She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
