Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
