I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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