What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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