Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
