Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
