Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
