i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
