I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
