Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
