I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
