the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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