IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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