I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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