Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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