Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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