it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
